New Years!! Happy 2011!!

Soon, very soon my christmas present will be here!  I got a super cheap guitar online and it should be here in about a week! Yay, now i only have to learn how to play the guitar.
Still i am excited for this weekend, some cool new shows are coming that ive been dying to see.

My life taking an upturn spin, I got a tutor in math so I'm not completely lost-I hate math-.
2010 was sucky for me, so I am hoping that '11 will be better.

But there is not alot more I can say except good luck with your resolutions!

Until next year.

YAY!!

People are reading my blog!  Granted it's only my close family, and I had to beg them, but still someone is reading my blog!
It's almost christmas time and here at the Bender family we're not really celebrating it.  Also Bender was a character from The Breakfast Club and there is a scene where he talks about Christmas at his house and blah de blah de blah.  If you don't get the reference, you should watch the movie, or at least a clip from YouTube. 
Anyway back to the christmas. 
My family has mostly grown up me being the youngest, and we decided not to really do christmas.  We're a danish family GO DANES!! and there was a tradition in are house where we open presents on christmas eve, and open stockings on christmas day.  Alas the time of childhood glee unwrapping a present is gone, and christmas is meaningless for 20 something people.

One more thing, my ma told me she looked for It's a Wonderful Life on tv, and we have satelite, and it's not on!?  The classic and iconic black and white film of brilliance with Clarence (hope I spelled that right) won't be on for christmas is a travesty of epic and devastating proportions that will reverberate in my life for years perhaps decades to come.

duh duh dummm....

Here is a piece of advice, don't read a book that has a cliffhanger.  It physically hurts sometimes to wait for the next book to come out.  I know of two books I read that has a cliffhanger, one is Changes by Jim Butcher and it has the ultimate cliffhanger.  The main character DIES!! What!? I mean what!?  That one blows my mind every time I read the Dresden Files.  The second is the 2nd book in a series called Abarat.  It has been SEVEN years since Days of Magic, Nights of War, the title of the book, came out.  Talk about a long cliffhanger.

Anyway I know this probably won't interest the normal man but dammit I just had to speak my mind!

Whatever




Comment dammit!  I want to know what people think about my nonsensicalness mess

When life gets you down

The fungus in my basement told me I should start living for today, because tomorrow I might end up as fungus living in a basement.

You're right I told him.

Starting tomorrow I am going to try to become a fungus.

Here I go... tumbling down down down

Been awhile since my last update, but I was feeling uplifted this morning by powers unknown.  To the people who have basic writing standards and cringe at my placement and use of commas, that's only to be expected to make mistakes. 

More people on twitter ignoring me.  I wonder if it's because I am an insufferable oaf, or they just don't like me unless they've been drinking.

Still having the life drained out of me slowly by a giant robot who can't use suffixes.
That's about all for now, my writing sucks and I will probably die alone, or at least by the hands of a giant robot.

the finale of the super short story of shortness about a short boy who became shorter

Dr.X scowled at Eddie but walked up to them anyway.  Dr.X's minion was showing him defiance, and he needed to be punished.  Cozying up to a new enemy, how dare he!  He needed to be experimented on, he needed to be shorter.  Dr.X caught up to George his minion and promptly ignoring Eddie invited George to sit with him, well as close to inviting as he could.

"Come sit with me." Dr.X commanded
"Oh okay, but I told Eddie I'd sit with him too, so look for an extra seat." George said
"YOU told him he could sit, with us?" Dr.X nearly screamed
"Yeah he's new and I thought-"
"You THOUGHT?  Since when do you think about anything?"
"Geez man don't be so rude," he said as we reached the line to the cafeteria.  "He was looking for someone to show him where the cafeteria was and we started talking; he's pretty cool."

Dr.X just stared at his minion in silence, boiling in anger.  He sighed then, pretending it was alright would be the fastest way to showing his minion a lesson that his minion would not forget anytime soon.

"Alright, you go pick out a table and I'll get our food." Dr.X says mischievously
"Yeah okay, just be nice to Eddie okay?" George said walking away
"Since when am I ever anything but nice?" Dr.X mutters, but George either didn't hear or he was just ignoring him.

After getting the trays and putting a few generic food items on them, Dr.X got some chocolate milks and paid.  Before looking for his minion though Dr.X took out his vial and slightly opening one of the milks he poured it in,  marking the milk with a marker so he wouldn't accidentally drink it.  Dr.X's plan was brilliant, except for one variable, Eddie.  Dr.X went looking for his minion and found him near the back row of tables, with Eddie already there.  Dr.X sat down next to his minion placing the tray with with the marked milk next to George.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I just got the usual suspects."  Dr.X says trying to be nonchalent.
"Thats ok." George said  "Oh hey have you two officially met, Steve this is Eddie, and Eddie this is Steve." George said finishing the introductions.
"Hey Steve." Eddie said
"Edward." Dr.X nodded
"Please call me Eddie, I hate being called Edward." Eddie grimaced as he said Edward.
Dr.X smiled at that new information, but said nothing more.
"Well," said George sensing the tension in the air, "let's eat."

Dr.X dug into his meal without tasting it keeping his eye on George his minion waiting for the sip that would seal his minion's fate.  Eddie kept asking questions about school, and who were the smartest kids in school and what the football team was like.  George answered the best he could through mouthfuls of food, saying that Steve was the smartest kid George knew, and that he didn't really like football but knew that their team wasn't that good.

Eddie looked impressed at Steve, and Dr.X felt smug and a little ashamed about what he was about to do to his minion who thought he was quote 'the smartest person he knew'.  Fate at that moment though had other ideas because just as Dr.X was feeling anxious about his plan George, his minion, his friend, took his chocolate milk and gulped it down.

"Ugh whats with this taste?" George asked
"Let me try." Eddie said and took the milk from George, chugging some.  "Yeah it does taste funny, you should go another one, what's yours taste like Steve?"  Eddie asked
"Umm," Dr.X just stared at them waiting for them to shrink.  "Mine tastes fine."
"Must be a bad one then, I'll go get another." George said leaving
Dr.X watched him go and looked at Eddie, who was still as tall as a two story building.  'Had I been wrong' Dr.X thought to himself.  He waited until the end of lunch time.  He waited till the end of school, still nothing.
As he walked home Dr.X thought himself a failure, there would be no shrinking, no smaller minion, just a failure of mad scientest. Dr.X got got home and called Steiny who came padding in.  He came in 5 inches shorter!  It worked!  Dr.X thought furiously and decided that his potion must have a time delay.  Dr.X started to laugh maniacally knowing what tomorrow would bring and he couldn't wait to go to school tomorrow to see his work completed.

Oh gosh busy week

It's been a busy week and has no signs of slowing anytime soon.  The shear amount of games that came out these past weeks! Fallout, Fable, Undead Nightmare!  It's been hectic let me tell you.  I've also been trying to read a book every day, well not a whole book.  Just a bits of book a day.  Sorry I don't have more to report.  Sunday is halloween!  It's the premiere of one of my favorite comic books appearing on the silver screen.  Thats tv right? silver screen is tv i think; wait then whats the movies screen nicknamed? oh well anyway, p.s. hate when people say anyways, amc is doing the show The Walking Dead.  I encourage everyone to watch unless they hate zombies, but lets face it, anyone who doesn't like zombies shouldn't be reading this blog in the first place.

Now for a special treat, on halloween or sunday in laymans terms i'll will be writing a scary story for my readers, if there are any, to read.  thats all for now catch you later

the super short story of shortness about a short boy who became shorter part 2

School was tedious for Dr.X. Time stood still in English while Dr.X made plans to get revenge on his minion for presuming he had an open friendship with Dr.X.  'He will learn his place' thought Dr.X, all the while pretending to listen to Mrs. Hammershem discuss the difference between nouns and pronouns.  His plans were this, he needed to test his shrinking potion, and his top test subject needed to pay, thus he would subject his minion to further testing at lunch by putting the potion in his minions' chocolate milk.  Dr.X wasn't really paying attention when the bell rang, but dutifully walked out with the rest of the class to math.  As he was walking to math his minion walked up to walk with him to class blabbering about how tough the homework was.

"Hey, what did you get for question 8?" George, the minions name was George, asked.

"I got 22," Dr.X said, even though he knew that wasn't right.

"Oh, I got something different," George said looking crestfallen.

No doubt he got the right answer, but because of Dr.X's lie he was no doubting himself.  Dr.X smiled to himself at this, turning into Mr. Hammershem's math class.  Mr and Mrs Hammershem were husband and wife, Mrs. Hammershem used to be Ms. Whiteness when she started working as a teacher, where she met Mr Hammershem and after a whirlwind romance they married.
"Alright, alright sit down class, he have a new transfer student today," Mr. Hammershem said, ushering the kids into class.
'A transfer student?' Dr.X thought, but not really caring but looked politely to the the blackboard at where the transfer student stood.  The word cool came to mind when you looked at him, he oozed coolness and charisma, with dirty blond hair done in a way that looked wavy but unmoving, Eyes a dark blue like the open sea, and he was tall, really tall.  All of the transfer student's feature were that of a norse god.  Dr.X scowled at another potential bully that he would have to dodge everyday.

"This here is Edward Hawkins, he moved here from," Mr. Hammershem glanced at a sheet by his fingertips "Galvin, Texas.  Edward, why don't you say something about yourself?"

"Well," Edward said awkwardly "My name is Edward, though I prefer to be called Eddie.  I like sports, and umm drawing I guess."  Edward stood there embarrassingly not knowing what to say until Mr. Hammershem escorted him to an empty desk, next to Dr.X.  He sat down as Dr.X stared daggers at him, daring 'Eddie' to look at him.  Eddie did not though and looked as if he was actually listening to what the teacher was saying.  This more than anything annoyed Dr.X, something about Eddie rubbed him the wrong way, something uncomfortable.  The class passed faster then the rest of his time being taken by a pop quiz.  Dr.X was sure he had aced it, but he had a feeling Eddie aced it a well, and just as fast he had, which meant Eddie was hiding how smart he was from everybody pretending to being a bumbling fool.  'How interesting', Dr.X thought but said nothing until class was over.  and finally, it was time for lunch! He would poison his minion at lunch with none the wiser, he had planned to walk with George to lunch to make sure he had a seat next to his minion, that is, until he saw who George was talking to, it was Eddie.  DOES THIS COMPLICATE HIS PLANS? WILL HIS PARENTS STILL FIND OUT?  WILL THE POTION HAVE ANY EFFECT? FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE OF THE FINAL PART OF the super short story of shortness about a boy who became shorter

Polish while you work, la la la la laa.

I create characters in my mind with stories that tell of their lives.  mostly they're fantastical, but some are satirical.
I write on here to polish my skills starting tomorrow I will be finishing part 2 of my super short story of shortness.  I may change the title of that though, something easier to remember.

Now to some random thoughts about rudolph, and how he relates to man, and the other reindeer and how they represent satan.
I was singing the shower today when I randomly start singing Rudolph the red nose reindeer, as I was singing I realized the end of the song was very misleading.  After being mocked by the other reindeer and not allowed to join in their games, he gets singled out by Santa, who portrays God in this tale.  Santa goes on to say that Rudolph, because of his abnormality is the greatest of the reindeer all the other reindeer praise him and shout with glee.  That's complete bull.  After making fun of his nose and mocking suddenly everyone likes him?  Not gonna happen.  In fact what really happened if this was in any way real or realistic which I realize it's not, they would have resented him for being Santa's favorite, making him even more hated in the eyes of the other reindeer.  Oh sure they would let him play their reindeer games, but only as an excuse to wail on him with no one being the wiser, the mocking would continue too even more so.  It's like Rudolph is the new guy at school who because of charm and good looks instantly becomes popular with the girls, enraging the jocks, causing him to be bullied.  they wouldn't like him just cause Santa said to, much how Satan refused to bow to man when God commanded, no reindeer would like Rudolph for intervening on the most important holiday of the year.



But thats just my view.  Open to interpretation.  That is all I wanted to say for now but its going to be a busy week this week so I may not post everyday.

No one following.... sad

There is still no one following me on here or in real life, though I swear I saw the same car parked outside as yesterday.  So how do you get followers?

Step 1: Start a blog

Step 2: Write interesting things people will want to read

Step 3: Get a bunch of followers and maybe a book deal

Okay so I haven't really flushed that plan out yet, maybe if I write a bunch of words that people are sure to search, like Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, Boobs, God, Buddha, Allah, Shiva, Star Wars vs Star Trek, America, Germany, U.K., Canada is the worlds leading country on gun violence... NOT, Nazis suck, Jon Stewart, Bill O'Reilly, Oprah's last season, and Rain the korean pop stars feud with Stephen Colbert!

Do you think that will get me more followers?

How is you?

This will be a short blogging.

Seriously.

Really short.

And, done.

End of blog.






What more do you want, I said it would be short.

And now....

For something completely different.  Get the Monty Python reference?  It's okay if you didn't.


Short story time!!! Yay!!  it will be called, the super short story of shortness about a boy who became shorter

It begins, like so many do on a dark and stormy night Ka-Blam goes the thunder as the evil genius in his parents laboratory laughed maniacally at his own... evil.  He had just created a potion to make someone slightly shorter.  Now all he needed was for someone to try it, and he knew just who to call.

"Steiny," he called, "Steiny, come here boy!"  A big dog that looked like it had been created from a bunch of other dogs(which it had) came down the stairs wagging it's short stubby tail.  "Try this will ya," he said while putting the potion in his dog's water bowl.  The dog lapped it up, and nothing happened.  "Hmm, maybe it takes some time to take effect."
It was an hour later, and still nothing happened.  He decided to go to bed, he had to get some sleep to keep his evil geniusness up, plus he had school tomorrow.

The next morning the evil genius (whose name incidentally was was Steve, but he liked to be called Dr. X) ran downstairs after putting on his lab coat he always wore.  He made sure to stop by the bathroom to comb his hair up so it was even more wild and unkempt, and didn't brush his teeth, partly because he created a germ to fight other germs on your teeth but mainly because he was evil, and evil people don't brush teeth.  He grabbed a pop tart on his way out of his house.  His parents, who were not evil geniuses, sitting at the breakfast screamed in protest that he wasn't having a proper breakfast, "Hey slow down Steve, and take that coat off!" his mother screamed as he ran out door, pretending to ignore his mother, evil geniuses don't listen to their mothers, because they're eevvilll!  He went to school like he always did, alone.  Evil geniuses didn't need friends, though Dr.X had a minion, who usually followed him to school at a considerable distance, at a Dr.X's insistence.  His minion actually thought they were friends, what a laugh!  His minion got experimented on more than his precious Steiny.
George ran up next to Dr.X asked "Hey Steve, how hard was the math homework we had for you?" to which Dr.X ignored him.
"Oh I mean, how hard was math homework for you DR.X?"
Dr.X begrudgingly answered,
"I finished it before class ended."
"Oh yeah, I forgot, your an 'evil genius'." George produced air quotes over the evil genius part.
"I am and don't you forget it minion." Dr.X barked
"Yeah, yeah geez you don't have to bite my head off!"

They walked the rest of the way to school like usual, George far behind him and Dr.X thinking of ways to punish George for his indignant behavior.  He glanced back at George when they were stopped at the entrance to school, and looked George over for ways to exploit him, he was a short ginger boy with bad acne and braces.  Dr.X had his work cut out for him to make George look any worse, but he was willing to try it.
He could use his freckle producing cream, but any other freckles on Georges body would just make him look tan, so that wasn't on option.  He had already used the teeth growing formula on George earlier last year, it worked so much he had to get braces, though there was a evil unforeseen side effect which gave him acne before he had even hit puberty.  Dr.X thought about making him irresistible to girls, but that would backfire once they reached aforementioned puberty.  Was there anything Dr.X could do to his minion that would degrade him any further than he already was?  The answer was in his pocket, the shrinking potion used on Steiny.  The only problem was it didn't work on dogs and he never tested on humans before.  Well there was a first for everything. He would do it at lunch, Dr.X usually ate alone but this time he would have to buddy up to his minion for this to work..... DOES DR.X MAKE HIS MINION SHORTER? WILL HIS PARENTS FIND OUT? HOW WILL THIS AFFECT THEIR WORKING RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EVIL GENIUS AND MINION?  FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE IN PART 2 OF the super short story of shortness about a boy who became shorter

Boom boom

There are days in my life that give me a lot of inspiration to write, this is not one of those days, I'm finding it hard to.... what's the word.... oh yeah, think of anything to write.  I find myself amusing, so does my mom and brother, unfortunately my dad and sister find me merely annoying.  Is this enough for today?  I mean I am basically writing for myself, but I promised myself to write everyday, so, here I am, writing....

One last thing, my computer sucks for writing, it keeps moving the a blinking thing at the end of your sentences.

Okay, bye now, I guess if I think of anything to write I'll umm blog it.  BLOG IT!

I found this on my computer

This was a short story I did a while ago and it isn't really polished at all but I'll put it on here anyway

Short Story: Tentative title----SPIDERS!

    Once long ago when I was living in my old house I think I was fourteen or fifteen, there was a hole in my wall.  I have no idea how that hole came to be there but there it was.  It was smallish about the size of a mans fist and really round, and I put a poster over it so I wouldn't have to look at it but noise from inside would come out at night like scratching on the wall and whispering.
I told my parents about it the next day and they joked that our house might be haunted; which I did not find that funny though my dad said he'd take a look at it tomorrow.  I spent the day outside playing with friends so when dinner came I was all sweaty and my mom had me change before dinner.  As I was changing a chill came over me when I realized my back was right next to the hole.  My entire body quivered and squirmed but other than that I would not move, I was too scared.  It took me a few moments before my courage was up enough to look behind me and I saw.... my poster nothing else just my poster I had put on the hole in my wall.
I went downstairs thinking how rediculous it was that there was anything to the hole probably some mishap with the previous owner.  I told my dad during dinner he didn't have to look at the hole anymore. Dad said I was probably hearing the wind coming from somewhere on the other side of the hole seeping through from the outside and he needed  to find it and seal it so I said okay you can take a look tommorow.  I was secretly relieved that he told me it was the wind for I still feared the hole a little now though everything was explained the wind simple as that.  That night I slept soundly pretending not to hear the scurrying going on behind the hole.
I slept in the next day so when I woke up my dad was all rearing to go and I told him I needed breakfast first.  My dad is a guy who loves his housework so he told me to hurry up.  I went downstairs and my mother was cleaning up the breakfast dad and her just had so I just got myself some cereal.  The only cereal that looked appealing was this new one i begged my mom to try it was called Spiders.  The cereal had different shapes like a spider shape or a web and various other ones.  I enjoyed it so much I got another bowl.  Dad walked in as I was finishing it saying he's losing his patience so I followed him upstairs to my room pointing him to my poster.
When he took off the poster I flinched thinking something was going to happen.  It didn't.  What a laugh I was afraid of a hole.  There was nothing there but then dad flashed his flashlight in the hole and spiders came pouring out by the hundreds by the thousands!  My dad and I backed upto my bed as an endless stream of spiders came pouring out onto my walls and thats when I remembered my breakfast and threw it up all over my dad.  Needless to say we were in therapy for quite a while and as part of that therapy they asked me to write it down saying it would help but whenever a commercial for Spiders cereal now the most popular cereal in the world comes on I have to run to the bathroom.

New Times, Strange Times, Even A Little Weird At Times

Hello, this is my new blog type thingy.  I was on twitter for a while, still am actually, but I hate how they limit how many words I can use so I decided to start a blog no one will probably read.
This will not be a diary blog or even a what happened in my life oh my god that was so amazing did you see that you have to see it oh my god that was so cool blog.  This is more satirical I want to say though that doesn't really sum it all up.  It will just be some of my admittingly weird thoughts.  Like how admittingly technically isn't a word, but how it's nice to use anyway, or quotes I deem are especially important today for some reason or another...

That is all I have to say for now, because lunch is ready and I want some cheetos.